Some of us Laugh
by angel1983
Summary: Tag to "Through a Glass Darkly"... Contains spoilers


**A.N. Another story on the Musketeers. I seem to have become addicted to the show.. I have not been able to write about or watch anything else... Not even the premiere of Criminal Minds which is another one of my most fav shows... Instead I find myself writing another filler. Well more of an alternate ending to S2E6 Through a glass darkly and it is another Athos and Aramis story. Those two are fast becoming my fav characters and Santiago and Tom are becoming my fav actors so much so that I have already watched all episodes of Merlin for Santiago Cabrera and Third Star for Tom Burke and I would really love it if you guys can tell me about any other show or movie these two have played a role in. Well not Heroes though I tried it and didn't like it... Anyways here's my latest...**

 **A huge thank you to everyone who has so far read and reviewed my other Musketeer fics and I hope you will take the time to let me know your thoughts on this one as well... Thank you so much for your support.**

 **Oh and nothing you recognise here including the title (from one of my fav songs) belongs to me**

"I would like to apologise for…" Athos began in a soft voice filled with guilt, however was interrupted by three simultaneous events.

Porthos let out a bellow of a laugh; Aramis snickered softly and held his ribs in an effort to avoid abusing them further. But it was D'Artagnan's reaction which was the most vocal. "Athos", he complained in a voice which rivalled Porthos' loudest bellows. "Couldn't you have done this say half an hour earlier? Now I owe Aramis 20 livres".

Quite stupefied by the turn of events all Athos could manage was, "You don't have 20 livres".

"Exactly!" the Gascon exclaimed with a pout more becoming on the face of a child than on one of the kings bravest soldiers.

"I don't understand", Athos began in an unusually hesitant and timid voice unable to explain his friends' bizarre reactions and wondering if the day's events had rendered them incapable of logical thinking.

Taking a look at the older man's confused appearance Porthos took pity on him. "It's simple", he explained. "Aramis and D'Artagnan had a wager goin'. D'Artagnan was sure you'd apologise as soon as you came back from the fort while Aramis knew you'd wait till his injuries were looked afta'. And Aramis won".

Still stunned by the events and wondering if it was his hearing that was damaged or if his three friends had taken a leave of their senses Athos shook his head as if to clear it before turning back to the others. "You bet on when I would apologise", he questioned in a dazed tone.

"Of course", Aramis answered as if it were the most normal thing in the world, "Head injuries are nothing to play with and I was well aware you would make sure I was in no danger before addressing your thoughts".

"But… You… I" Athos stammered unable to organise his thoughts. As usual when dealing with the antics of his friends he felt amusement and anger warring for attention within him. But this time there was sadness as well. 'Did his feelings of guilt matter so little to his brothers that they would treat them this callously', he wondered. 'And what of all the other times he had apologised. Had it all been for naught? Had they always considered the apologies he delivered nothing more than a mere sport to be wagered on? Had he…' His wandering thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder and looking up he found Aramis' sad face in front of him.

"When are you going to realise that it is not your fault every time one of us gets hurt", he demanded all mirth gone.

Unable to meet the intense emotions on his friends face, nor see the bandage covering Aramis' head Athos lowered his gaze. But Aramis for once was unwilling to let this go. This time he would make sure that his friend did not burden himself with undeserved guilt.

"Athos please look at me", he requested and when the other man met his eyes again Aramis pointed to his injured head. "You did not do this", he stated in a clear and confident voice. "Marmion is the only one responsible for what happened tome. He pushed me".

For a minute it seemed Athos would not respond. Instead he let his hands softly caress the cloth covering almost the entire lower part of the back of Aramis' head.

"From what I understand", he began softly "Marmion pushed you when you asked for the release of the Dauphin and the women", he stated caught upon the day's happenings thanks to Porthos' report to Treville.

It was Aramis' turn to be confused "Yes", he answered simply not sure of where Athos was taking this line of conversation.

"You took over the leadership of the situation as the most senior Musketeer present", he continued his tone unchanging.

"Yes", Aramis answered again still unclear as to the motive of this conversation when an odd thought occurred to him. "Are you saying I should not have…?" he began however Athos seemed to have anticipated his question. "You did exactly what I or any other commanding officer present would have done under the circumstances", he stated simply.

"Then I don't understand…" the healer began again only to be interrupted once more. "Don't you see", Athos continued in a voice filled with anger even as he turned away from the others, "You had to deal with Marmion because I was not there", he stated the self disgust in his tone evident. "I was not there because I was not able to handle it, her, and the King. I let my emotions rule my judgement and you paid the price for it".

Aramis sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. And now they were at the heart of it. It seemed he had been anticipating this conversation ever since Athos had turned up at the fort in Milady's company. That the leader of the Inseparables blamed himself every time one of his men got hurt under his command was a given and so it was no surprise to him that his friend would feel guilt on seeing his injuries. What was worse about this though was the presence of the older Musketeer's former wife.

All three of them were well aware of Athos' teachings of head over heart having had it drilled into them to never let their emotions rule their good judgement and Aramis knew that whilst to him Athos' absence was quite normal and understandable the older man would be harder on himself.

Before he could voice his thoughts though or offer some sort of reassurance that the other man was blameless in his eyes, D'Artagnan took over. The Gascon had tried to stay out of the conversation between Athos and Aramis as much as he could, letting the marksman handle their stubborn leader, however he had unable to bear the anguish in his mentor's voice. Instead he sought to provide his own reassurance. "You saved our lives Athos", he stated simply. "If you hadn't turned up when you did…" he closed his eyes shuddering at the thought that he had almost gambled the King's life away.

"You had to stall for time", Athos read his protégé's thoughts easily. "You did the right thing D'Artagnan".

"As did you Athos", the younger man told him

"Any troop of Musketeers…" Athos began only to stop at the shake of D'Artagnan's head. "No. You were there. You. Saved. Us." He stated his confidence in the older man never wavering.

"Athos you 'ad every reason in the world to stay away from that place today", Porthos added. "But you came back wen you knew we were in trouble. An' with her. You helped us take down Marmion and save the King's life".

"If you had joined us today all that would have transpired was that you would have been held prisoner with us. And who can state confidently if Treville would have been willing to put his faith in Milady…" here Aramis stopped. "You didn't believe her", he realised however he didn't need his answer. The look in his eyes was enough.

"What matters is only one simple fact. You turned up against all hope and saved our lives", Aramis tried again and when he still did not seemed to be getting through, "Please Athos. Please do not blame yourself because I don't", he almost begged willing his friend to see reason.

Athos did not answer his friend's plea immediately. Instead he noticed the way the younger man almost swayed dangerously and the light sheen of sweat covering his forehead. The day's happenings seemed to have finally caught up to him. Ignoring the conversation for the time being Athos guided the sharpshooter to the bed he had been occupying earlier. Looking up at his friends' faces he realised that the only person blaming him for his stay at the garrison was himself and that his continued guilt was only distressing the others. Whilst aware that D'Artagnan's confidence and his friends' forgiveness was misplaced he nonetheless resolved to stop blaming himself if only to not cause any further pain to the three men who seemed to love him unconditionally despite all his faults.

Instead turning towards the Gascon he deliberately sought to keep his tone stern. "Why on earth would you be foolish enough to bet against Aramis", then ignoring the younger man's scowl he turned towards the healer and stated in a soft voice, "He knows me too well".

For a second Aramis felt choked at the raw emotion in the older man's tone. Swallowing past the lump in his throat he turned mischievous eyes at the youngest of their company. "Athos agrees", then holding out his hand he added. "Where are my twenty livres?" causing Porthos to laugh as D'Artagnan's scowl only intensified.

The mood in the room seemed to have lightened considerably and Athos smiled as he let his friends' bickering wash over him drinking in the sight of his three friends alive and well enough considering… He stopped his wandering thoughts. His friends were right. They were all alive and whole and it was enough


End file.
